Every marriage or relationship has its own ups and downs. Although there is no roadmap for tough endeavours in life, The Gottman Method combines couple-based therapy and research to resolve conflicts. It aims to increase intimacy, affection, and respect, remove barriers, and create a sense of understanding.
Four decades of marriage scientific research and real-time observations are compiled in one book, called ‘The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work,’ by Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver. Combining these principles alongside marriage counselling in Dubai can help you learn about marriage failures and save your relationship.
Applying such principles takes a little bit of practice but can be vital to creating a healthier relationship. Let’s dive into them.
1. Enhance Your Love Maps
Gottman explains that emotionally intelligent couples are aware of their partner’s love maps. Knowing and embracing your partner’s love maps is all about understanding their experiences, knowing their love language, and believing in themselves. Better mutual understanding scenarios can develop affection and strong connections.
2. Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration
Fondness and admiration give your partner a feeling that they are worthy of respect. Gottman suggests that an effective way to evaluate whether you have a fondness for your marriage is to recall the story of your first meeting and courtship.
3. Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away
Suppose if you tell your partner that you’re having a bad day at work and your partner doesn’t respond, this is turning away from each other. Make sure to take time to present, listen, and support them to strengthen your bond.
4. Let Your Partner Influence You
Couples tend to stick together when they work as a team. When you turn toward each other for making big decisions, sharing opinions, and involving your partner in your thought process, you are letting them influence you. It is more about communicating and making your spouse a part of your life decisions.
5. Solve Your Solvable Problems
Just because you have recurring issues with your partner doesn’t mean you can’t have a satisfying marriage. Make an attempt to fix solvable issues and nurture your bond. Gottman suggests five steps to tackle solvable problems:
• Soften your startup
• Learn to receive repair attempts
• Soothe yourself and each other
• Tolerate each other’s faults
6. Overcome Gridlock
Gridlock takes place when persistent disagreements cause conflict. Overcoming gridlock isn’t about solving a problem but having a healthy conversation. This can help you understand the root of the issue, find a way to assess conflict areas, and end the discussion on a calm note.
7. Create Shared Meaning
Creating shared meaning means combining your beliefs, goals, and rituals. You can find pleasure in sharing your purpose in life with each other and explore all types of intimacy. Make your partner’s wants, needs, and dreams recognised to feel closer and valued.
Putting in extra effort to connect, interact, and respect each other is worth a happier marriage. While these principles can be effective, work with the best couple therapist in Dubai to lay a solid foundation for healthy patterns early and create a strong connection.